'\nI\'m sick of following my dreams, man. I\'m just going\nto ask where they\'re going and hook up with ’em later.\n\n—Mitch Hedberg',
'\nBefore you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in\ntheir shoes. That way when you criticize them, you are a\nmile away from them and you have their shoes. \n\n—Jack Handey',
'\nBefore you marry a person, you should first make them use\na computer with slow Internet to see who they really are.\n\n—Will Ferrell',
'Before you marry a person, you should first make them usea computer with slow Internet to see who they really are. —Will Ferrell',
'\nCommon sense is like deodorant. The people who need it\nmost never use it.\n\n—Anonymous',
'\nHere’s all you have to know about men and women: Women\nare crazy, men are stupid. And the main reason women\nare crazy is that men are stupid.\n\n—George Carlin',
'\nCal: “You are really pushing my buttons today.”\nBecky: “Which one is \'mute \'?”\n\n—Waitress, the Musical',